4 tips to help you network authentically
4 tips to help you network authentically
It’s 8:30am, i’ve just finished my daily meditation, and I’m a few sips into my first cup of coffee. I open up my inbox for the first time that morning and my heart flutters at the sight of a new message from a stranger. My eagerness to read the message energizes me more than the caffeine, so much so that I put my motto-reminding mug down and get tunnel visioned on this message. I’m a small business owner running a service-based company, so a new message on LinkedIn or Instagram transports me into a world of optimism and curiosity. The following conversation ensues in my head:
Who is this person?
How’d they find out about my work?
Did they read my most recent blog? Maybe they have some more questions about it…
Maybe they want to work with me, or collaborate on a project!
Maybe they just want to make an authentic connection… how exciting!
As I open up the message my optimism shifts to skepticism, and then quickly pluments into frustration. This is the message, in one form or another, that I receive:
Hi Loretta, my name is ___. I’m in sales and I can help you grow your money/gain more followers/convert your coaching business into a 6-figure cash cow through my 2-day training program. Let me know if I can give you a call today to discuss more.
I consider responding with a biting comment and some rhetorical questions about the success of their cold marketing techniques… but then I stop, take a deep breath, and mindfully remember that in some cases, silence is an improvement on words.
I shake off the irritating message, get back to a place of optimism, and trust that there's plenty of people like me who value authenticity when it comes to networking. Even in this virtual world where we can feel far away from others, it is still possible to show up and network in ways that truly make others feel seen, heard, and valued.
why is it important to network? well, because "its all about who you know." and as much as I don’t enjoy throwing that phrase around, there’s a lot of truth in it—especially when you’re willing to put yourself out there and make authentic connections. some of my proudest career moments are, of course, the result of my hard work... but are also the result of meaningful connections with the right people in the right places. i'm grateful to my mentors and teachers who taught me the art of networking authentically early on, because I truly could not do the work that I do now if it wasn't for all of the people I've connected with. so, if you’re curious on how to start networking more authentically, then here’s 4 tips to get you started:
1) Ask Yourself Why
“Why” is at the root of everything we do, and if we’re never sure why we’re doing something, then it’s possible that we’re making poorly-informed decisions about our lives, careers, and futures. This is true when it comes to networking. Before you send the message or join the conversation or make the phone call, get really clear on the why. Why did you choose this person? Why are you reaching out? Why are you choosing to share this information with them? When you can answer those questions confidently, then you can reach out from a more grounded and authentic place.
Equally as important is understanding the other person’s why. Think about a time when someone’s networking attempt felt off putting or, conversely, someone who’s networking skills left you feeling inspired, curious, and optimistic. What did this person do, or not do, that made you feel this way? Can you articulate why they might have reached out to you in the first place? Collecting this data about your experiences with others will help you...
2) Know Your Standards & Boundaries
The more you can recognize the things you do and don’t appreciate while networking will help you make deeper connections more quickly, and help you avoid people that might waste your time and energy. When I first started my business, I naively responded to all of the cold messages I received. The messages made me feel icky, but I would override my gut feeling and entertain the sender in hopes that an authentic connection would suddenly reveal itself. Needless to say, I was always disappointed. Eventually I became exhausted from the pointless back-and-forth with cold marketers that I had to draw a boundary and up my standards: I no longer respond to cold messages from strangers unless they...
3) Take The Time
Take the time to learn about the person, especially if the reason why you’re networking is because you need a favor. Even if you just need to ask someone a few questions about their experience or expertise, your attempt to connect will be more successful if it's clear that you’ve taken the time to research their work. No busy professional wants to spend their time answering questions that can be found right on their profile page or website.
If your reason for networking is deeper than just asking a few questions… you’re looking to collaborate, pitch a proposal, or make a big ask… then taking the time to build an authentic relationship is an absolute must. If the reason why you’re reaching out is because you’d like me to invest in your work, then I’m more inclined to do that if I’ve had ample time to learn about your work (especially from others or mutual friends), as well as time to build trust that our values are aligned and that mutuality exists between us. And even if I don’t end up investing my dollars, if the authenticity is there then I’m more likely to promote your work to my broader network.
Lastly, even with all these ingredients combined it’s important to...
4) Let Go of Expectation
And don’t take things personally. You may show up as your most authentic self to a networking opportunity and never hear back or connect. Let go of the expectation that every attempt will result in a connection. Let go of the expectation of receiving immediate gratification in making a good connection… you don’t harvest the fruit the same day you plant the seed. Lastly, let go of the expectation that everyone knows the importance of authentically networking. Networking well means navigating through the weeds of disappointment and shallowness. But I promise you, if you commit to being an authentic networker, you’ll find the right people to be a part of your community.
thanks for reading!share this with a friend, colleague, or loved one who could benefit from learning how to network authentically. By the way, if you’re looking to deepen your networking, leadership, and mindfulness capabilities, then consider enrolling in my 1:1 leadership + mindfulness coaching program. The enrollment window opens up from October 1-11, 2021. Click here to learn more about my 1:1 leadership and coaching program and book your free discovery session here.
