Working Through It: 3 Tips for Professionals Navigating Grief
If you’re reading this at the start of 2025, Happy New Year!
If your new year has felt less than happy, know that I’m right there with you. The start of 2025 has brought a tone of doom and gloom for many in my community. From the wildfires that raged through Los Angeles earlier this month to the official administration change in the United States: many people are feeling down and out during a time of year when we’re supposed to feel refreshed, motivated, and excited about the blank slate ahead.
However, that’s exactly what we need to be careful about: getting wrapped up in how we think we should feel instead of addressing how we actually feel. This concept of “shoulding yourself,” coined by psychologist Clayton Barbeau, speaks to the distorted thinking and guilt-ridden pressures that many of us put ourselves through when the going gets tough. By “shoulding” ourselves into feeling or being a certain way, we block our ability to effectively process our emotions, give ourselves what we truly need, and build resilience for the future.
For those of us experiencing grief right now, it’s easy to feel stuck in a loop of “shoulds,” especially when it comes to work. As a social impact professional, my days are filled with purposeful work. Each day I come to my work knowing how fortunate I am that I get to do meaningful, community-based work as a wellbeing strategist and leadership coach. It's really fantastic!
But when I’m in a season of grief, I too get stuck in the should loops. This is what it sounds like in my head:
Shouldn’t I just keep going? I need to focus on my clients and the people that rely on me.
I’m helping people who have it so much worse than I do right now… shouldn’t I just suck it up and be energetic right now?
If you’re asking yourself similar questions, read on to learn how I’m working through a season of grief as a working professional:
1. There is no wrong way to grieve
Everyone experiences grief differently, and this also applies to how we handle it at work. You might need to take time off—or you might find that staying busy and productive is helpful. Perhaps working from home in solitude feels right, or you may benefit from being surrounded by others in the office. Whatever approach you choose, you’re not wrong.
Remember that grief takes time. There’s no deadline for when you’ll be “done” working through it. What worked this week may not work at all for you in the coming weeks, and that’s okay. It's important to pay attention to your working needs each day, and give yourself the grace and flexibility to make choices at each moment.
“What worked this week may not work at all for you in the coming weeks, and that’s okay.”
2. Find a way to communicate
Grief affects people in different ways and can bring with it a host of symptoms, like fatigue, memory loss, mood swings, confusion, indecisiveness, and feelings of hopelessness. If any of these symptoms are impacting areas of your work, it's important to communicate this to others. What and how much you communicate with others will very much depend on your relationship with them.
For instance, if you have a close, trusting relationship with your supervisor, you might feel comfortable sharing details about your loss and its impact. For others, you might prefer a simpler explanation, like asking for patience because you’re navigating a personal challenge and noticing you’re more forgetful or less focused than usual. If you recognize that your grief is encouraging you to spend more time in solitude, you can let colleagues know you need some time alone and reassure them it’s not personal. Clear communication helps set expectations while preserving your boundaries.
3. Establish healthy outlets for expression
Sometimes I experience grief even when I’ve lost something that "shouldn't" (there's that damn word again!) affect me too deeply. As I mentioned before, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve, and sometimes life events impact us in ways that we didn’t anticipate. In moments of collective grief, we may sense a shared sadness with those around us or become aware that others might be facing an even greater loss.
In such times, it’s important to avoid a mindset of comparative suffering. Silencing your emotions because someone else has it “worse than you” doesn’t offer you the support you need. Instead, be there for others while giving yourself permission to acknowledge your feelings fully. Then find the right outlet for you to express yourself.
For instance, if you’re in a formal leadership role where everyone is grieving (yourself included), know that it's okay to support your team while also acknowledging your own humanity. It's crucial to identify an outlet where you can fully process and express your feelings, whether that’s with a mentor, therapist, or a trusted group of friends outside of work. This is especially true for those of us in leadership roles, as we have a responsibility to lead by example. People look to us for guidance on how to navigate and carry on through the hardest times. That requires that you also take care of yourself.
People look to us for guidance on how to navigate and carry on through the hardest times. That requires that you also take care of yourself.
Remember: Grief Is Not Linear
As we move through this season together, I want to remind you that grief is not a straight path. There is no wrong way to process your emotions, and it's important to let others in when you’re ready. Keep adapting to your needs and seek support when you require it.
If this resonates with you, let’s connect on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear how you’re doing in this season and explore how I might support you. Let’s make 2025 a year where we honor both our humanity and our purpose.
If you’re looking for more resources on grief, these two podcasts were recommended to me: